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Childhood Ruined is a weekly (in theory) podcast hosted by a licensed psychologist, Michael Mallen, Ph.D., and a soon-to-be, certified school counselor, Chris Benefield, M.A. As two nerds on the north side of age 40, Chris and Mike talk about the things that made childhood in the 80s and 90s great - and how hobbies have changed over time.
Episodes
Thursday Apr 16, 2020
Radio Free Coronavirus: Exploration Can Lead to Potions or Dead Bodies
Thursday Apr 16, 2020
Thursday Apr 16, 2020
Your hosts are joined by fabled guest, Siri, as she describes her array of professional and hobby skills. We discuss parenting during the coronavirus and explore what we'd like to incorporate into the new lifestyle whenever the world "returns to normal." We celebrate the rare situation of playing the same videogame at the same time - Final Fantasy VII Remake. We talk about early impressions of the game and wrestling with the real-time/turn-based combat system. We discuss the objectification of Tifa and exploitation of Barrett, and Michael learns for the first time that FF7R doesn't contain the entire FFVII experience. Siri shares a story that deserves some Stand By Me music and we close with a review of Be Kind, Rewind offerings to keep you busy.
Monday Apr 06, 2020
Radio Free Coronavirus: Rocks & Hard Places
Monday Apr 06, 2020
Monday Apr 06, 2020
Your hosts talk about their privileged efforts to manage positive self-care as the weeks of social isolation continue. They offer strategies for dealing with the magnitude of change ranging from practicing musical instruments to painting rocks. Michael provides a lukewarm review for Epic Tavern, an early-access game that seems to offer a lot of potential. Both hosts talk about the goals they'd like to accomplish - if only they had the talent to pull them off!
Friday Mar 27, 2020
Radio Free Coronavirus: Perfect Albums
Friday Mar 27, 2020
Friday Mar 27, 2020
Your hosts provide brief updates on the status of their quarantine efforts and launch into a new task of listing "perfect albums." The instructions were to name an album that is "perfect" in the sense that it is easy to listen to in its entirety without a need to skip any songs. We review a few listener suggestions before getting into our lists. We agree on 'Appetite For Destruction' by Guns N' Roses and otherwise provide non-obvious suggestions to the audience. We encourage others to let us know what album you consider perfect!
Tuesday Mar 24, 2020
Radio Free Coronavirus: Mister Postman
Tuesday Mar 24, 2020
Tuesday Mar 24, 2020
Your hosts welcome "other Chris" onto the show, our friend who is a long-time veteran of the Postal Service; he talks about delivering mail during a global pandemic and the oddities he has encountered during his career. Your hosts recap developments related to recent episodes and Michael goes out of his way to defend the Spin Doctors. The trio discuss how they are striving to maintain a sense of mindfulness and purpose as the outside world stands still.
Monday Mar 23, 2020
Radio Free Coronavirus: Learning About Music, JRPGs & God of Rowing
Monday Mar 23, 2020
Monday Mar 23, 2020
Your hosts talk about their efforts to keep touch with old friends and discuss strategies for finding just the "right" music in these trying times. Chris talks about a quest to create a playlist of "pretty" songs, and Michael shares his journey to find an obscure band - that he later learned was a duo of great renown. Michael grumbles like an old man yelling at clouds about the scale of modern videogames and how most games take too long to complete. He is informed what the "J" in JRPG stands for (hint, it's not Junior) and spends some time exploring game design choices in the latest God of War, "No wonder Kratos' arms are jacked - he's rowing a damn boat for 60 hours!"
Sunday Mar 22, 2020
Radio Free Coronavirus
Sunday Mar 22, 2020
Sunday Mar 22, 2020
Your hosts reconnect as the entire world grinds to a halt because of coronavirus. They talk about their efforts to stay connected with interests and friends, and offer some suggestions for how others can do the same. They discuss bygone days (approximately 15 days ago) when they went out to a bar for a drink and were propositioned by a daring female with an agenda! Hopefully we can all return to "normal" life one day. In the meantime, check out this episode.
Monday Feb 10, 2020
Going Above & Beyond
Monday Feb 10, 2020
Monday Feb 10, 2020
Your hosts return for the first time this decade to review a strategy for consuming more new music, and discuss the merits and perils of discovering a sub-culture's popular artist perhaps too late. The focus is on branching out to absorb more music beyond the same, tired playlists that have sustained us over the past 20-30 years. Michael talks about his efforts to "self-monitor" his consumption of new music (and other media), and Chris continues in his Jedi Master role of providing education about musical genres and trends. We conclude with a discussion of whether or not to travel to Red Rocks to see Above & Beyond this summer.
Monday Oct 21, 2019
The Hype of Skywalker
Monday Oct 21, 2019
Monday Oct 21, 2019
Your hosts discuss the fervor leading up to the sale of tickets for The Rise of Skywalker and the efforts it took to procure said tickets. The hosts discuss how marketing for films has changed over time and their hopes and expectations for Episode IX. We watch the trailer and offer initial impressions, which include's Mike whimsical notion for Force Ghost Hayden to appear before all is said and done. We conclude with a new segment, Ruining Childhoods, which features our midadventures as parents.
Monday Aug 05, 2019
Whole Carded
Monday Aug 05, 2019
Monday Aug 05, 2019
When Chad gifted us an unopened pack of ProSet Super Stars MusiCards featuring "10 Hot Photocards with facts and photos of your favorite rock, rap & pop stars" from 1991, your hosts immediately reacted, "That's an episode!" We opened the pack on the pod and provided our instant reactions to artists that were - if we knew them - prominently involved in our late elementary and early high school lives. This was a fun episode, and you're likely to get a smile from some of the musical artists discussed. Who did we find in the pack? Listen and find out!
Thursday Jul 18, 2019
Jack White Took My Phone
Thursday Jul 18, 2019
Thursday Jul 18, 2019
Your hosts take in a performance by The Raconteurs, and one of the conditions to enter the venue was to secure your cellphone in a sealed pouch. This wrinkle added to the mystique for Michael who had yet to see Jack White perform. The hosts discuss the merits of the "no cellphone" policy and how it was implemented before talking about the performance itself. The show was great, though Michael wondered if the concert (15 songs) was long enough; he created two polls on Twitter to get feedback from others and shares the results with Chris. The origins of concert expectations for your hosts are explored, and Chris heavily endorses the approach of going into a show with low expectations and being mindful.